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If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Magnolias
Nice
Anything
Come

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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[To the British actor who annoyed her by repeated references to his busy 'shedule':] I think you're full of skit.
Dorothy Parker
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[On Lou Tellegen's Women Have Been Kind:] The book ... has all the elegance of a quirked little finger and all the glitter of a pair of new rubbers.
Dorothy Parker
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Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
Dorothy Parker
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When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.
Dorothy Parker
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It's easier to write about those you hate — just as it's easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.
Dorothy Parker
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Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
Dorothy Parker
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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
Dorothy Parker
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There was always something immensely comic to her in the thought of living elsewhere than New York. She could not regard as serious proposals that she share a western residence.
Dorothy Parker
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At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
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I find her anecdotes more efficacious than sheep-counting, rain on a tin roof, or alanol tablets.... you will find me and Morpheus, off in a corner, necking.
Dorothy Parker
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Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
Dorothy Parker
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Yes, well, let me tell you that if nobody had ever learned to quote, very few people would be in love with La Rochefoucauld. I bet you I don't know ten souls who read him without a middleman.
Dorothy Parker
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If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again. If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
Dorothy Parker
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There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
Dorothy Parker
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The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
Dorothy Parker
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There must be courage there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind...There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.
Dorothy Parker
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
Dorothy Parker
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Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.
Dorothy Parker
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And where does she find them?
Dorothy Parker
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Where's the man could ease a heart Like a satin gown?
Dorothy Parker