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Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Mary
Memorable
Dear
Knew

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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
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Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.
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When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.
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I'm never going to accomplish anything that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
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Daily dawns another day I must up, to make my way. Though I dress and drink and eat, Move my fingers and my feet, Learn a little, here and there, Weep and laugh and sweat and swear, Hear a song, or watch a stage, Leave some words upon a page, Claim a foe, or hail a friend- Bed awaits me at the end.
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[Epitaph:] Involved in a plot.
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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
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One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
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London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.
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I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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Of Orson Welles: It's like meeting God without dying.
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[On being told their loquacious, domineering host was 'outspoken':] By whom?
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I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.
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A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially, shows that it is our national joy to mistake for the first-rate, the fecund rate.
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[When asked what was the inspiration for most of her work:] Need of money, dear.
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I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
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I regret to say that during the first act of this, I fell so soundly asleep that the gentleman who brought me piled up a barricade of overcoat, hat, stick, and gloves between us to establish a separation in the eyes of the world, and went into an impersonation of A Young Man Who Has Come to the Theater Unaccompanied.
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Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
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tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight!
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[From a window in the Writer's Building at MGM, which overlooked a cemetery:] Hello down there. It might interest you to know that up here we are just as dead as you are.
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