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If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
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West End
Monmouth County
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Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
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More quotes by Dorothy Parker
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
Dorothy Parker
Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that.
Dorothy Parker
There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
Dorothy Parker
The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
Dorothy Parker
Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
Dorothy Parker
It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
Dorothy Parker
Flowers are heaven's masterpiece.
Dorothy Parker
Women and elephants never forget.
Dorothy Parker
Pictures pass me in long review,-- Marching columns of dead events. I was tender, and, often, true Ever a prey to coincidence. Always knew I the consequence Always saw what the end would be. We're as Nature has made us -- hence I loved them until they loved me.
Dorothy Parker
Guido Natso is natso guido.
Dorothy Parker
[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
Dorothy Parker
On lady novelists: As artists they're rot, but as providers they're oil wells they gush. Norris said she never wrote a story unless it was fun to do. I understand Ferber whistles at her typewriter.
Dorothy Parker
Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to us, if we our wealth obey The horse doth with the horseman away.
Dorothy Parker
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Dorothy Parker
We were all imitative. We all wandered in after Miss Edna St. Vincent Millay. We were all being dashing and gallant, declaring we weren't virgins, whether we were or not.
Dorothy Parker
On being told of the death of former President Calvin Coolidge: How could they tell?
Dorothy Parker
Oh, seek, my love, your newer way I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
Dorothy Parker
[On James Gould Cozzens' By Love Possessed:] It is a vast enterprise encompassing all sorts of love, except, naturally, those branches which extend to Jews, Negroes, and people who have lost track of their great-grandparents.
Dorothy Parker
Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.
Dorothy Parker
[On Kay Strozzi in The Silent Witness:] Miss Strozzi ... had the temerity to wear as truly horrible a gown as ever I have seen on the American stage. ... Had she not luckily been strangled by a member of the cast while disporting this garment, I should have fought my way to the stage and done her in, myself.
Dorothy Parker