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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Must
Ruthless
Things
Valentine
Men
Handsome
Wedding
Require
Marriage
Stupid
Three

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It's not the tragedies that kill us it's the messes.
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[From a window in the Writer's Building at MGM, which overlooked a cemetery:] Hello down there. It might interest you to know that up here we are just as dead as you are.
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Just begin a story with such a phrase as 'I remember Disraeli - poor old Dizz! - once saying to me, in answer to my poke in the eye,' and you will find me and Morpheus off in a corner, necking.
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When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.
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The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
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Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
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Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.
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If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.
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I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
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Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
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Guido Natso is natso guido.
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Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
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Writing well is the best revenge.
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Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.
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All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.
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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
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When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world. But now I’m old - and good and bad, Are woven in a crazy plaid. I sit and say the world is so, And wise is s/he who lets it go.
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Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that.
Dorothy Parker