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I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Marriage
Stupid
Three
Must
Ruthless
Things
Valentine
Men
Handsome
Wedding
Require

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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[On Lou Tellegen's Women Have Been Kind:] The book ... has all the elegance of a quirked little finger and all the glitter of a pair of new rubbers.
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Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
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Sometimes I think I'll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day.
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[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.
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Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them, more easily each time, so easily, soon, that you did not even realize you had gone out searching. Women alone often developed into experts at the practice. She must never join their dismal league.
Dorothy Parker
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The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. ... Obscenity is too valuable a commodity to chuck around all over the place it should be taken out of the safe on special occasions only.
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If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.
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Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
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If I should labor through daylight and dark, Consecrate, valorous, serious, true, Then on the world I may blazon my mark And what if I don't, and what if I do?
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
Dorothy Parker
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I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
Dorothy Parker
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Upton Sinclair is his own King Charles' head. He cannot keep himself out of his writings, try though he may or, by this time, try though he doesn't.
Dorothy Parker
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Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
Dorothy Parker
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Why, after all, should readers never be harrowed? Surely there is enough happiness in life without having to go to books for it.
Dorothy Parker
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Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.
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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Dorothy Parker
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[On hearing that President Coolidge was dead:] How can you tell?
Dorothy Parker
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London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful.
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All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
Dorothy Parker