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One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Host
Beer
Drink
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
Dorothy Parker
Upton Sinclair is his own King Charles' head. He cannot keep himself out of his writings, try though he may or, by this time, try though he doesn't.
Dorothy Parker
Money is only congealed snow.
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And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
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There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
Dorothy Parker
This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.
Dorothy Parker
When you have to apologize, it is well, I suppose, to get the thing over quickly.
Dorothy Parker
The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.
Dorothy Parker
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
Dorothy Parker
A girl's best friend is her mutter.
Dorothy Parker
Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Dorothy Parker
The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
Dorothy Parker
Hell's afloat in lover's tears.
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London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful.
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The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. ... Obscenity is too valuable a commodity to chuck around all over the place it should be taken out of the safe on special occasions only.
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People are more than fun than anybody.
Dorothy Parker
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
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I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it would be not too much to say, in fact it would be not enough to say, that it was not worth the trouble.
Dorothy Parker
Sometimes I think I'll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day.
Dorothy Parker
The ones I like are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.’
Dorothy Parker