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One more drink and I'd have been under the host.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Host
Beer
Drink

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Money is only congealed snow.
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(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile - in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.
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Writing well is the best revenge.
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Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
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What writes worse than a Theodore Dreiser? ... Two Theodore Dreisers.
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I hate writing, I love having written.
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Woman wants monogamy Man delights in novelty. Love is woman's moon and sun Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord Count to ten, and man is bored. With this the gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it?
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A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially, shows that it is our national joy to mistake for the first-rate, the fecund rate.
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
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The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
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Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
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[On being told their loquacious, domineering host was 'outspoken':] By whom?
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[Completely bored by a country weekend, wiring to a friend:] For heaven's sake, rush me a loaf of bread, enclosing saw and file.
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[To the British actor who annoyed her by repeated references to his busy 'shedule':] I think you're full of skit.
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But I don't give up I forget why not.
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All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.
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They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
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My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man.
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The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.
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The writer's way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
Dorothy Parker