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Friends come and go but I wouldn't have thought you'd be one of them

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Wouldn
Friends
Thought
Come

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Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
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[Requesting her epitaph to read this way:] Excuse my dust.
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The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
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I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense.
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A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially, shows that it is our national joy to mistake for the first-rate, the fecund rate.
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(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile - in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.
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Women and elephants never forget.
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The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.
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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
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Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.
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There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
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When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.
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[Hospitalized and pressing the nurse's button before dictating letters to her secretary:] This should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy.
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I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New York-the Blessed Sacrament... I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
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If I should labor through daylight and dark, Consecrate, valorous, serious, true, Then on the world I may blazon my mark And what if I don't, and what if I do?
Dorothy Parker
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Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
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There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.
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[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.
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Hollywood is one place in the world where you can die of encouragement.
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People are more than fun than anybody.
Dorothy Parker