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I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Drinker
Drinkers
Drinking
Writer
Problem
Writing

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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Money is only congealed snow.
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Perhaps it suddenly brought to us the sense of change. Or irresponsibility. But don't forget that, though the people in the twenties seemed like flops, they weren't. Fitzgerald, the rest of them, reckless as they were, drinkers as they were, they worked damn hard and all the time.
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The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.
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She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.
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She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania.
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I know that an author must be brave enough to chop away clinging tentacles of good taste for the sake of a great work. But this is no great work, you see.
Dorothy Parker
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Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
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I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New York-the Blessed Sacrament... I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
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Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
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If I should labor through daylight and dark, Consecrate, valorous, serious, true, Then on the world I may blazon my mark And what if I don't, and what if I do?
Dorothy Parker
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All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
Dorothy Parker
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
Dorothy Parker
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Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
Dorothy Parker
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[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
Dorothy Parker
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The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
Dorothy Parker
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Why, after all, should readers never be harrowed? Surely there is enough happiness in life without having to go to books for it.
Dorothy Parker
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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Dorothy Parker
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Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you And that cleans up the matter.
Dorothy Parker