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I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Drinker
Drinkers
Drinking
Writer
Problem
Writing
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Dorothy Parker
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
Dorothy Parker
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
Dorothy Parker
I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
Dorothy Parker
Despite his persecutions, Mr. [Upton] Sinclair reveals himself in Money Writes! to be an enviable man. Always the thing he desires to believe is the thing he feels he knows to be true.
Dorothy Parker
Women and elephants never forget.
Dorothy Parker
And where does she find them?
Dorothy Parker
Where's the man could ease a heart Like a satin gown?
Dorothy Parker
When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.
Dorothy Parker
Daily dawns another day I must up, to make my way. Though I dress and drink and eat, Move my fingers and my feet, Learn a little, here and there, Weep and laugh and sweat and swear, Hear a song, or watch a stage, Leave some words upon a page, Claim a foe, or hail a friend- Bed awaits me at the end.
Dorothy Parker
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
Dorothy Parker
The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.
Dorothy Parker
On being told of the death of former President Calvin Coolidge: How could they tell?
Dorothy Parker
Innocence is a desirable thing, a dainty thing, an appealing thing, in its place but carried too far, it is merely ridiculous.
Dorothy Parker
A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
Dorothy Parker
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
Dorothy Parker
[Epitaph:] Involved in a plot.
Dorothy Parker
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.
Dorothy Parker
There was a reason for the cost of those perfectly plain black dresses.
Dorothy Parker
I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
Dorothy Parker