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I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Drinker
Drinkers
Drinking
Writer
Problem
Writing

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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Why, after all, should readers never be harrowed? Surely there is enough happiness in life without having to go to books for it.
Dorothy Parker
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[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.
Dorothy Parker
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Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
Dorothy Parker
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Said of her husband on the day their divorce became final: Oh, don't worry about Alan. . . . Alan will always land on somebody's feet.
Dorothy Parker
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Eternity is a ham and two people.
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I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
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Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
Dorothy Parker
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I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
Dorothy Parker
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It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
Dorothy Parker
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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
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But I don't give up I forget why not.
Dorothy Parker
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Nevil Shute's On the Beach is no Christmas carol, but it seems to me a remarkably fine novel, one which I read, in the peculiarly repulsive phrase, with my eyes glued to the page.
Dorothy Parker
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If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
Dorothy Parker
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Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
Dorothy Parker
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At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
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[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
Dorothy Parker
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Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
Dorothy Parker
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Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
Dorothy Parker
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She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.
Dorothy Parker
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Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face - Poets alone should kiss and tell.
Dorothy Parker