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There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Spend
Syntax
Somebody
Steals
Study
Pencil
Best
Pencils
Years
Rhetoric
Life
Studying
Beowulf
Stealing
Penmanship
George
Eliot

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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
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Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.
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The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
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She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.
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Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
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ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
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Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
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Money is only congealed snow.
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She will never win him, whose words had shown she feared to lose.
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Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.
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They say of me, and so they should, It's doubtful if I come to good. I see acquaintances and friends Accumulating dividends And making enviable names In science, art and parlor games. But I, despite expert advice, Keep doing things I think are nice, And though to good I never come Inseparable my nose and thumb.
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Women and elephants never forget.
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Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them, more easily each time, so easily, soon, that you did not even realize you had gone out searching. Women alone often developed into experts at the practice. She must never join their dismal league.
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I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.
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It was written without fear and without research.
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[When asked what was the inspiration for most of her work:] Need of money, dear.
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