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There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Stealing
Penmanship
George
Eliot
Spend
Syntax
Somebody
Steals
Study
Pencil
Best
Pencils
Years
Rhetoric
Life
Studying
Beowulf

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I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania.
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I hate writing, I love having written.
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Pictures pass me in long review,-- Marching columns of dead events. I was tender, and, often, true Ever a prey to coincidence. Always knew I the consequence Always saw what the end would be. We're as Nature has made us -- hence I loved them until they loved me.
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I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
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But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.
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She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.
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I find her anecdotes more efficacious than sheep-counting, rain on a tin roof, or alanol tablets.... you will find me and Morpheus, off in a corner, necking.
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All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.
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Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
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Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
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If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
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Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.
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You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
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Art is a form of catharsis emotional release, purging, cleansing, purifying.
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My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man.
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One more drink and I'd have been under the host.
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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
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