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If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Gun
Folks
Cause
Speeding
Fun
Shiny
Causes
Pains
Brain
Bullets
Pain
World
Brains

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things.
Dorothy Parker
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I'm never going to accomplish anything that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
Dorothy Parker
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She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.
Dorothy Parker
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[On Kay Strozzi in The Silent Witness:] Miss Strozzi ... had the temerity to wear as truly horrible a gown as ever I have seen on the American stage. ... Had she not luckily been strangled by a member of the cast while disporting this garment, I should have fought my way to the stage and done her in, myself.
Dorothy Parker
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Where's the man could ease a heart Like a satin gown?
Dorothy Parker
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There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.
Dorothy Parker
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Accursed from their birth they be Who seek to find monogamy, Pursuing it from bed to bed— I think they would be better dead.
Dorothy Parker
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All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
Dorothy Parker
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But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.
Dorothy Parker
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Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.
Dorothy Parker
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Friends come and go but I wouldn't have thought you'd be one of them
Dorothy Parker
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I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
Dorothy Parker
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There was always something immensely comic to her in the thought of living elsewhere than New York. She could not regard as serious proposals that she share a western residence.
Dorothy Parker
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The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
Dorothy Parker
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It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
Dorothy Parker
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The ones I like are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.’
Dorothy Parker
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Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Dorothy Parker
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It's not the tragedies that kill us it's the messes.
Dorothy Parker
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Women and elephants never forget.
Dorothy Parker
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Perhaps it suddenly brought to us the sense of change. Or irresponsibility. But don't forget that, though the people in the twenties seemed like flops, they weren't. Fitzgerald, the rest of them, reckless as they were, drinkers as they were, they worked damn hard and all the time.
Dorothy Parker