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You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Wit
Tricks
Teach
Dogma
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
[To the British actor who annoyed her by repeated references to his busy 'shedule':] I think you're full of skit.
Dorothy Parker
There was a reason for the cost of those perfectly plain black dresses.
Dorothy Parker
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
Hollywood is one place in the world where you can die of encouragement.
Dorothy Parker
The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
Dorothy Parker
Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Dorothy Parker
Just begin a story with such a phrase as 'I remember Disraeli - poor old Dizz! - once saying to me, in answer to my poke in the eye,' and you will find me and Morpheus off in a corner, necking.
Dorothy Parker
It's easier to write about those you hate — just as it's easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.
Dorothy Parker
There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.
Dorothy Parker
Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn.
Dorothy Parker
There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
Dorothy Parker
If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)
Dorothy Parker
It's not the tragedies that kill us it's the messes.
Dorothy Parker
Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you And that cleans up the matter.
Dorothy Parker
The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
Dorothy Parker
Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that.
Dorothy Parker
I hate writing, I love having written.
Dorothy Parker
Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.
Dorothy Parker
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
Dorothy Parker
Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
Dorothy Parker