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You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Dogma
Wit
Tricks
Teach

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.
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[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
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Somewhere, there, is an analogy, in a small way, if you have the patience for it. But I guess it isn't a very good anecdote. I'm better at animal stories.
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Guido Natso is natso guido.
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I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.
Dorothy Parker
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I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense.
Dorothy Parker
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Writing well is the best revenge.
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Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face - Poets alone should kiss and tell.
Dorothy Parker
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At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
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There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
Dorothy Parker
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[Hospitalized and pressing the nurse's button before dictating letters to her secretary:] This should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy.
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The House Beautiful is the play lousy.
Dorothy Parker
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There was a reason for the cost of those perfectly plain black dresses.
Dorothy Parker
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The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
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There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
Dorothy Parker
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
Dorothy Parker
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People are more than fun than anybody.
Dorothy Parker
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[On James Gould Cozzens' By Love Possessed:] It is a vast enterprise encompassing all sorts of love, except, naturally, those branches which extend to Jews, Negroes, and people who have lost track of their great-grandparents.
Dorothy Parker
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Nevil Shute's On the Beach is no Christmas carol, but it seems to me a remarkably fine novel, one which I read, in the peculiarly repulsive phrase, with my eyes glued to the page.
Dorothy Parker