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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Health
Money
Studded
Cannot
Wheelchair
Wheelchairs
Settle
Diamond
Settling
Healthy
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
There was always something immensely comic to her in the thought of living elsewhere than New York. She could not regard as serious proposals that she share a western residence.
Dorothy Parker
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don't catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
Dorothy Parker
Art is a form of catharsis emotional release, purging, cleansing, purifying.
Dorothy Parker
I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.
Dorothy Parker
The House Beautiful is the play lousy.
Dorothy Parker
London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.
Dorothy Parker
But I don't give up I forget why not.
Dorothy Parker
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
Dorothy Parker
[At the reception following her remarriage to Alan Campbell:] People who haven't talked to each other in years are on speaking terms again today - including the bride and groom.
Dorothy Parker
If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
Dorothy Parker
If I should labor through daylight and dark, Consecrate, valorous, serious, true, Then on the world I may blazon my mark And what if I don't, and what if I do?
Dorothy Parker
My land is bare of chattering folk / the clouds are low along the ridges, / and sweet's the air with curly smoke / from all my burning bridges.
Dorothy Parker
The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
Dorothy Parker
[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
Dorothy Parker
Scratch a king and find a fool!
Dorothy Parker
Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
Dorothy Parker
Hell's afloat in lover's tears.
Dorothy Parker
Money is only congealed snow.
Dorothy Parker
A girl's best friend is her mutter.
Dorothy Parker
Despite his persecutions, Mr. [Upton] Sinclair reveals himself in Money Writes! to be an enviable man. Always the thing he desires to believe is the thing he feels he knows to be true.
Dorothy Parker
