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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Settle
Diamond
Settling
Healthy
Health
Money
Studded
Cannot
Wheelchair
Wheelchairs
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
Dorothy Parker
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.
Dorothy Parker
Said of her husband on the day their divorce became final: Oh, don't worry about Alan. . . . Alan will always land on somebody's feet.
Dorothy Parker
A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially, shows that it is our national joy to mistake for the first-rate, the fecund rate.
Dorothy Parker
...as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a pencil eraser, it will erase ink.
Dorothy Parker
I give her sadness and the gift of pain, a new moon madness and a love of rain.
Dorothy Parker
The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
Dorothy Parker
The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. ... Obscenity is too valuable a commodity to chuck around all over the place it should be taken out of the safe on special occasions only.
Dorothy Parker
I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense.
Dorothy Parker
She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.
Dorothy Parker
All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
Dorothy Parker
She will never win him, whose words had shown she feared to lose.
Dorothy Parker
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
The House Beautiful is the play lousy.
Dorothy Parker
I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.
Dorothy Parker
Where's the man could ease a heart Like a satin gown?
Dorothy Parker
I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
Dorothy Parker
Oh, seek, my love, your newer way I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
Dorothy Parker
If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
Dorothy Parker
I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.
Dorothy Parker
