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The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Seventy
Neat
Seventies
None
Five
Age
Years
Swiss
People
Industrious

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[Epitaph:] Involved in a plot.
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There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
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Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.
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His books are exciting and powerful and — if I may filch the word from the booksy ones — pulsing.
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Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face - Poets alone should kiss and tell.
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[On hearing that President Coolidge was dead:] How can you tell?
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[Requesting her epitaph to read this way:] Excuse my dust.
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I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
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All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
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Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
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Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
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Perhaps it suddenly brought to us the sense of change. Or irresponsibility. But don't forget that, though the people in the twenties seemed like flops, they weren't. Fitzgerald, the rest of them, reckless as they were, drinkers as they were, they worked damn hard and all the time.
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Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
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It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
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Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.
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I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
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If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second-greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first-greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.
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