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Sometimes I think I'll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Giving
Trying
Moan
Think
Stove
Thinking
Stoves
Russian
Completely
Give
Sometimes
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
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We were all imitative. We all wandered in after Miss Edna St. Vincent Millay. We were all being dashing and gallant, declaring we weren't virgins, whether we were or not.
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I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.
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I regret to say that during the first act of this, I fell so soundly asleep that the gentleman who brought me piled up a barricade of overcoat, hat, stick, and gloves between us to establish a separation in the eyes of the world, and went into an impersonation of A Young Man Who Has Come to the Theater Unaccompanied.
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Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
Dorothy Parker
I'm never going to accomplish anything that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
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If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.
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If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.
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Guido Natso is natso guido.
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I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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all men are the same age.
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[Hospitalized and pressing the nurse's button before dictating letters to her secretary:] This should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy.
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I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it would be not too much to say, in fact it would be not enough to say, that it was not worth the trouble.
Dorothy Parker
I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again
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There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
Dorothy Parker
Money is only congealed snow.
Dorothy Parker
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
Dorothy Parker
I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense.
Dorothy Parker
Now to me, Edith looks like something that would eat her young.
Dorothy Parker
