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Sometimes I think I'll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Trying
Moan
Think
Stove
Thinking
Stoves
Russian
Completely
Give
Sometimes
Giving

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She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.
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It is that word 'hunny,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
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All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.
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My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man.
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The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. ... Obscenity is too valuable a commodity to chuck around all over the place it should be taken out of the safe on special occasions only.
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[Epitaph:] Involved in a plot.
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At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
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If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.
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There must be courage there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind...There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.
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I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.
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Age before beauty, and pearls before swine.
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Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn.
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Eternity is a ham and two people.
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Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
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Flowers are heaven's masterpiece.
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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