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Sometimes I think I'll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Thinking
Stoves
Russian
Completely
Give
Sometimes
Giving
Trying
Moan
Think
Stove
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
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There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
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Eternity is a ham and two people.
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Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to us, if we our wealth obey The horse doth with the horseman away.
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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
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People are more than fun than anybody.
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Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
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What writes worse than a Theodore Dreiser? ... Two Theodore Dreisers.
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When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world. But now I’m old - and good and bad, Are woven in a crazy plaid. I sit and say the world is so, And wise is s/he who lets it go.
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[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
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Accursed from their birth they be Who seek to find monogamy, Pursuing it from bed to bed— I think they would be better dead.
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The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
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Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you And that cleans up the matter.
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If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.
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Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
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At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
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My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man.
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
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London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.
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How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things.
Dorothy Parker