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I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Bacteria
Poisonous
Wish
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
Flowers are heaven's masterpiece.
Dorothy Parker
ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
Dorothy Parker
[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
Dorothy Parker
I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
Dorothy Parker
Friends come and go but I wouldn't have thought you'd be one of them
Dorothy Parker
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
Dorothy Parker
Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
Dorothy Parker
All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.
Dorothy Parker
At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
I give her sadness and the gift of pain, a new moon madness and a love of rain.
Dorothy Parker
Age before beauty, and pearls before swine.
Dorothy Parker
We were all imitative. We all wandered in after Miss Edna St. Vincent Millay. We were all being dashing and gallant, declaring we weren't virgins, whether we were or not.
Dorothy Parker
Like many a better one before me, I have gone down under the force of numbers, under the books and books and books that keep coming out and coming out and coming out, shoals of them, spates of them, flash floods of them, too blame many books, and no sign of an end.
Dorothy Parker
London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.
Dorothy Parker
I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
Dorothy Parker
Woman wants monogamy Man delights in novelty. Love is woman's moon and sun Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord Count to ten, and man is bored. With this the gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it?
Dorothy Parker
A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
Dorothy Parker
There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.
Dorothy Parker
I was the toast of two continents: Greenland and Australia.
Dorothy Parker
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
Dorothy Parker
