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I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Bacteria
Poisonous
Wish

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.
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A girl's best friend is her mutter.
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Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that.
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[On being told their loquacious, domineering host was 'outspoken':] By whom?
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The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
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The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.
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Age before beauty, and pearls before swine.
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Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.
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If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)
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I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New York-the Blessed Sacrament... I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
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I hate writing, I love having written.
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Yes, well, let me tell you that if nobody had ever learned to quote, very few people would be in love with La Rochefoucauld. I bet you I don't know ten souls who read him without a middleman.
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When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world. But now I’m old - and good and bad, Are woven in a crazy plaid. I sit and say the world is so, And wise is s/he who lets it go.
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Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.
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I find her anecdotes more efficacious than sheep-counting, rain on a tin roof, or alanol tablets.... you will find me and Morpheus, off in a corner, necking.
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It was written without fear and without research.
Dorothy Parker
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People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
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[At the reception following her remarriage to Alan Campbell:] People who haven't talked to each other in years are on speaking terms again today - including the bride and groom.
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[From a window in the Writer's Building at MGM, which overlooked a cemetery:] Hello down there. It might interest you to know that up here we are just as dead as you are.
Dorothy Parker
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Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
Dorothy Parker