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I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Bacteria
Poisonous
Wish

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New York-the Blessed Sacrament... I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
Dorothy Parker
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Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
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How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things.
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There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.
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I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense.
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Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you And that cleans up the matter.
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Somewhere, there, is an analogy, in a small way, if you have the patience for it. But I guess it isn't a very good anecdote. I'm better at animal stories.
Dorothy Parker
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There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
Dorothy Parker
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ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
Dorothy Parker
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Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
Dorothy Parker
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Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
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Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
Dorothy Parker
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If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit We all assume that Oscar said it.
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I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again
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all men are the same age.
Dorothy Parker
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If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
Dorothy Parker
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You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
Dorothy Parker
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Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
Dorothy Parker
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[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.
Dorothy Parker
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The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
Dorothy Parker