Quote

This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Liars
Touch
Superlative
Horse
Superlatives
Bird
Umbrella
Fool
Thief
Wouldn
Liar
Brain
Apologizing
Thieves

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
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If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
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The House Beautiful is the play lousy.
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On lady novelists: As artists they're rot, but as providers they're oil wells they gush. Norris said she never wrote a story unless it was fun to do. I understand Ferber whistles at her typewriter.
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[Hospitalized and pressing the nurse's button before dictating letters to her secretary:] This should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy.
Dorothy Parker
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When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world. But now I’m old - and good and bad, Are woven in a crazy plaid. I sit and say the world is so, And wise is s/he who lets it go.
Dorothy Parker
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Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.
Dorothy Parker
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I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
Dorothy Parker
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But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.
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Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
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Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Dorothy Parker
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It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
Dorothy Parker
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People are more than fun than anybody.
Dorothy Parker
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The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.
Dorothy Parker
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Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
Dorothy Parker
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Like many a better one before me, I have gone down under the force of numbers, under the books and books and books that keep coming out and coming out and coming out, shoals of them, spates of them, flash floods of them, too blame many books, and no sign of an end.
Dorothy Parker
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tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight!
Dorothy Parker
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His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
Dorothy Parker
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I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again
Dorothy Parker
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[On Lou Tellegen's Women Have Been Kind:] The book ... has all the elegance of a quirked little finger and all the glitter of a pair of new rubbers.
Dorothy Parker