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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Thieves
Liars
Touch
Superlative
Horse
Superlatives
Bird
Umbrella
Fool
Thief
Wouldn
Liar
Brain
Apologizing
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
Accursed from their birth they be Who seek to find monogamy, Pursuing it from bed to bed— I think they would be better dead.
Dorothy Parker
[On Katharine Hepburn's stage performance:] She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B.
Dorothy Parker
There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
Dorothy Parker
When you have to apologize, it is well, I suppose, to get the thing over quickly.
Dorothy Parker
I don't want to review books any more. It cuts in too much on my reading.
Dorothy Parker
Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
Dorothy Parker
I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New York-the Blessed Sacrament... I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
Dorothy Parker
If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit We all assume that Oscar said it.
Dorothy Parker
When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world. But now I’m old - and good and bad, Are woven in a crazy plaid. I sit and say the world is so, And wise is s/he who lets it go.
Dorothy Parker
And where does she find them?
Dorothy Parker
[Hospitalized and pressing the nurse's button before dictating letters to her secretary:] This should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy.
Dorothy Parker
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporanea, And love is a thing that can never go wrong, and I am Marie of Romania.
Dorothy Parker
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
Dorothy Parker
I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
Dorothy Parker
I hate writing, I love having written.
Dorothy Parker
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
Dorothy Parker
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.
Dorothy Parker
Said of her husband on the day their divorce became final: Oh, don't worry about Alan. . . . Alan will always land on somebody's feet.
Dorothy Parker
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
Dorothy Parker
A girl's best friend is her mutter.
Dorothy Parker