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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Brain
Apologizing
Thieves
Liars
Touch
Superlative
Horse
Superlatives
Bird
Umbrella
Fool
Thief
Wouldn
Liar
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that.
Dorothy Parker
Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.
Dorothy Parker
I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.
Dorothy Parker
Upton Sinclair is his own King Charles' head. He cannot keep himself out of his writings, try though he may or, by this time, try though he doesn't.
Dorothy Parker
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
Dorothy Parker
Like many a better one before me, I have gone down under the force of numbers, under the books and books and books that keep coming out and coming out and coming out, shoals of them, spates of them, flash floods of them, too blame many books, and no sign of an end.
Dorothy Parker
I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it would be not too much to say, in fact it would be not enough to say, that it was not worth the trouble.
Dorothy Parker
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
Dorothy Parker
At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
Dorothy Parker
[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
Dorothy Parker
He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
Dorothy Parker
Yes, well, let me tell you that if nobody had ever learned to quote, very few people would be in love with La Rochefoucauld. I bet you I don't know ten souls who read him without a middleman.
Dorothy Parker
[At the reception following her remarriage to Alan Campbell:] People who haven't talked to each other in years are on speaking terms again today - including the bride and groom.
Dorothy Parker
There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
Dorothy Parker
Where's the man could ease a heart Like a satin gown?
Dorothy Parker
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.
Dorothy Parker
The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. The boys have gone hog-wild with liberty, yet the short flat terms used over and over, both in dialogue and narrative, add neither vigor nor clarity the effect is not of shock but of something far more dangerous — tedium.
Dorothy Parker
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
Dorothy Parker
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
Dorothy Parker