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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Fool
Thief
Wouldn
Liar
Brain
Apologizing
Thieves
Liars
Touch
Superlative
Horse
Superlatives
Bird
Umbrella

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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If I should labor through daylight and dark, Consecrate, valorous, serious, true, Then on the world I may blazon my mark And what if I don't, and what if I do?
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The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.
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[Hospitalized and pressing the nurse's button before dictating letters to her secretary:] This should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy.
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If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
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His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
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A list of authors who have made themselves most beloved and therefore, most comfortable financially, shows that it is our national joy to mistake for the first-rate, the fecund rate.
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I regret to say that during the first act of this, I fell so soundly asleep that the gentleman who brought me piled up a barricade of overcoat, hat, stick, and gloves between us to establish a separation in the eyes of the world, and went into an impersonation of A Young Man Who Has Come to the Theater Unaccompanied.
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Art is a form of catharsis emotional release, purging, cleansing, purifying.
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[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
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I was the toast of two continents: Greenland and Australia.
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It's easier to write about those you hate — just as it's easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.
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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
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London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful.
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We were all imitative. We all wandered in after Miss Edna St. Vincent Millay. We were all being dashing and gallant, declaring we weren't virgins, whether we were or not.
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Woman wants monogamy Man delights in novelty. Love is woman's moon and sun Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord Count to ten, and man is bored. With this the gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it?
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Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
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I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.
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The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.
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It's not the tragedies that kill us it's the messes.
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