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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Thieves
Liars
Touch
Superlative
Horse
Superlatives
Bird
Umbrella
Fool
Thief
Wouldn
Liar
Brain
Apologizing

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile - in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.
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I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
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Despite his persecutions, Mr. [Upton] Sinclair reveals himself in Money Writes! to be an enviable man. Always the thing he desires to believe is the thing he feels he knows to be true.
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And where does she find them?
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[On Katharine Hepburn's stage performance:] She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B.
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It is that word 'hunny,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
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She will never win him, whose words had shown she feared to lose.
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Art is a form of catharsis emotional release, purging, cleansing, purifying.
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... if this world were anything near what it should be there would be no more need of a Book Week than there would be a of a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.
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If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
Dorothy Parker
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Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
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I'm never going to accomplish anything that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.
Dorothy Parker
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Accursed from their birth they be Who seek to find monogamy, Pursuing it from bed to bed— I think they would be better dead.
Dorothy Parker
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[Requesting her epitaph to read this way:] Excuse my dust.
Dorothy Parker
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I know that an author must be brave enough to chop away clinging tentacles of good taste for the sake of a great work. But this is no great work, you see.
Dorothy Parker
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...as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a pencil eraser, it will erase ink.
Dorothy Parker
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Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
Dorothy Parker
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My land is bare of chattering folk / the clouds are low along the ridges, / and sweet's the air with curly smoke / from all my burning bridges.
Dorothy Parker
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She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.
Dorothy Parker
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Once, when I was young and true. Someone left me sad - Broke my brittle heart in two And that is very bad. Love is for unlucky folk, Love is but a curse. Once there was a heart I broke And that, I think, is worse.
Dorothy Parker