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I find her anecdotes more efficacious than sheep-counting, rain on a tin roof, or alanol tablets.... you will find me and Morpheus, off in a corner, necking.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Find
Tablets
Anecdotes
Counting
Roof
Sheep
Corner
Corners
Efficacious
Rain
Tin

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
Dorothy Parker
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It's not the tragedies that kill us it's the messes.
Dorothy Parker
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My land is bare of chattering folk / the clouds are low along the ridges, / and sweet's the air with curly smoke / from all my burning bridges.
Dorothy Parker
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Guido Natso is natso guido.
Dorothy Parker
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It was written without fear and without research.
Dorothy Parker
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There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
Dorothy Parker
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Woman wants monogamy Man delights in novelty. Love is woman's moon and sun Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord Count to ten, and man is bored. With this the gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it?
Dorothy Parker
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[To the British actor who annoyed her by repeated references to his busy 'shedule':] I think you're full of skit.
Dorothy Parker
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How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound if I can remember any of the damn things.
Dorothy Parker
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[From a window in the Writer's Building at MGM, which overlooked a cemetery:] Hello down there. It might interest you to know that up here we are just as dead as you are.
Dorothy Parker
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Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
Dorothy Parker
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All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.
Dorothy Parker
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I don't want to review books any more. It cuts in too much on my reading.
Dorothy Parker
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Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
Dorothy Parker
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I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New York-the Blessed Sacrament... I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
Dorothy Parker
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I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Dorothy Parker
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I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
Dorothy Parker
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And where does she find them?
Dorothy Parker
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Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to us, if we our wealth obey The horse doth with the horseman away.
Dorothy Parker
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When I was young and bold and strong, The right was right, the wrong was wrong. With plume on high and flag unfurled, I rode away to right the world. But now I’m old - and good and bad, Are woven in a crazy plaid. I sit and say the world is so, And wise is s/he who lets it go.
Dorothy Parker