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Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Shoes
Life
Like
Pristine
Shiny
Hats
Dress
Dresses

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[On being told their loquacious, domineering host was 'outspoken':] By whom?
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Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
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If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit We all assume that Oscar said it.
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(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile - in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.
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Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
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She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.
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[On James Gould Cozzens' By Love Possessed:] It is a vast enterprise encompassing all sorts of love, except, naturally, those branches which extend to Jews, Negroes, and people who have lost track of their great-grandparents.
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This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.
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Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
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Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face - Poets alone should kiss and tell.
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Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them, more easily each time, so easily, soon, that you did not even realize you had gone out searching. Women alone often developed into experts at the practice. She must never join their dismal league.
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It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
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I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.
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I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to us, if we our wealth obey The horse doth with the horseman away.
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[When asked what was the inspiration for most of her work:] Need of money, dear.
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The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. ... Obscenity is too valuable a commodity to chuck around all over the place it should be taken out of the safe on special occasions only.
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All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don't catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
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