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I'm never going to accomplish anything that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Never
Names
Bites
Clear
Perfectly
Used
Famous
Anything
Accomplish
Rosters
Even
Fame
Roster
Thing
Large
Writ
Going
Single
Bite
Things
Name
Nails

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
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Upton Sinclair is his own King Charles' head. He cannot keep himself out of his writings, try though he may or, by this time, try though he doesn't.
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The Swiss are a neat and an industrious people, none of whom is under seventy-five years of age.
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I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it would be not too much to say, in fact it would be not enough to say, that it was not worth the trouble.
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I wanted to be cute. That's the terrible thing. I should have had more sense.
Dorothy Parker
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Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face - Poets alone should kiss and tell.
Dorothy Parker
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There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.
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My own dear love, he is strong and bold And he cares not what comes after. His words ring sweet as a chime of gold, And his eyes are lit with laughter. He is jubilant as a flag unfurled - Oh, a girl, she'd not forget him. My own dear love, he is all my world - And I wish I'd never met him.
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If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.
Dorothy Parker
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It's easier to write about those you hate — just as it's easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.
Dorothy Parker
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I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
Dorothy Parker
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When you have to apologize, it is well, I suppose, to get the thing over quickly.
Dorothy Parker
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If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
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I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.
Dorothy Parker
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She will never win him, whose words had shown she feared to lose.
Dorothy Parker
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Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that.
Dorothy Parker
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Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
Dorothy Parker
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London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.
Dorothy Parker
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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
Dorothy Parker
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But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder--oh, what will you think of me--if those two statements do not verge upon the synonymous.
Dorothy Parker