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I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Single
Happy
History
Ever
Ending
Human
Shock
Humans
Billions
Come
Held
Beings

More quotes by Dorothy Parker

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Scratch a king and find a fool!
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A girl's best friend is her mutter.
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The sun's gone dim, and the moon's gone black. For I loved him, and he didn't love back.
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I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
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I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.
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tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight!
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If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)
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You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.
Dorothy Parker
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[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.
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Out in Hollywood, where the streets are paved with Goldwyn.
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And where does she find them?
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Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face - Poets alone should kiss and tell.
Dorothy Parker
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People are more fun than anyone.
Dorothy Parker
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It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
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[Requesting her epitaph to read this way:] Excuse my dust.
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I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
Dorothy Parker
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... if this world were anything near what it should be there would be no more need of a Book Week than there would be a of a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.
Dorothy Parker
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Daily dawns another day I must up, to make my way. Though I dress and drink and eat, Move my fingers and my feet, Learn a little, here and there, Weep and laugh and sweat and swear, Hear a song, or watch a stage, Leave some words upon a page, Claim a foe, or hail a friend- Bed awaits me at the end.
Dorothy Parker
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But I don't give up I forget why not.
Dorothy Parker