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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Brush
Brushes
Teeth
Tongue
Morning
Firsts
First
Sharpening
Thing
Sharpen

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Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.
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Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
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If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again. If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
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Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.
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The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.
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Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
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If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.
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There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
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Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that.
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[From a window in the Writer's Building at MGM, which overlooked a cemetery:] Hello down there. It might interest you to know that up here we are just as dead as you are.
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[On Kay Strozzi in The Silent Witness:] Miss Strozzi ... had the temerity to wear as truly horrible a gown as ever I have seen on the American stage. ... Had she not luckily been strangled by a member of the cast while disporting this garment, I should have fought my way to the stage and done her in, myself.
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[Completely bored by a country weekend, wiring to a friend:] For heaven's sake, rush me a loaf of bread, enclosing saw and file.
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If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.
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Oh, seek, my love, your newer way I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
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If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
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Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
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It was written without fear and without research.
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Where unwilling dies the rose buds the new another year.
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Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.
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Eternity is a ham and two people.
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