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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Brush
Brushes
Teeth
Tongue
Morning
Firsts
First
Sharpening
Thing
Sharpen
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
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[From a window in the Writer's Building at MGM, which overlooked a cemetery:] Hello down there. It might interest you to know that up here we are just as dead as you are.
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If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)
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[At the reception following her remarriage to Alan Campbell:] People who haven't talked to each other in years are on speaking terms again today - including the bride and groom.
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My first love was Cinderella, but she ran off with another man.
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[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
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And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
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[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.
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Daily dawns another day I must up, to make my way. Though I dress and drink and eat, Move my fingers and my feet, Learn a little, here and there, Weep and laugh and sweat and swear, Hear a song, or watch a stage, Leave some words upon a page, Claim a foe, or hail a friend- Bed awaits me at the end.
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Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
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I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it would be not too much to say, in fact it would be not enough to say, that it was not worth the trouble.
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all men are the same age.
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It's easier to write about those you hate — just as it's easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.
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Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.
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On lady novelists: As artists they're rot, but as providers they're oil wells they gush. Norris said she never wrote a story unless it was fun to do. I understand Ferber whistles at her typewriter.
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There is entirely too much charm around, and something must be done to stop it.
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The House Beautiful is the play lousy.
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Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.
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The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
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