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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
First
Sharpening
Thing
Sharpen
Brush
Brushes
Teeth
Tongue
Morning
Firsts
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don't catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
Dorothy Parker
I was the toast of two continents: Greenland and Australia.
Dorothy Parker
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Dorothy Parker
I don't want to review books any more. It cuts in too much on my reading.
Dorothy Parker
They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
Dorothy Parker
Like many a better one before me, I have gone down under the force of numbers, under the books and books and books that keep coming out and coming out and coming out, shoals of them, spates of them, flash floods of them, too blame many books, and no sign of an end.
Dorothy Parker
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
Dorothy Parker
People are more fun than anyone.
Dorothy Parker
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
Dorothy Parker
If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit We all assume that Oscar said it.
Dorothy Parker
If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
Dorothy Parker
I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.
Dorothy Parker
Why, after all, should readers never be harrowed? Surely there is enough happiness in life without having to go to books for it.
Dorothy Parker
A girl's best friend is her mutter.
Dorothy Parker
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Dorothy Parker
And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
Dorothy Parker
Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
Dorothy Parker
I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New York-the Blessed Sacrament... I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
Dorothy Parker
Once, when I was young and true. Someone left me sad - Broke my brittle heart in two And that is very bad. Love is for unlucky folk, Love is but a curse. Once there was a heart I broke And that, I think, is worse.
Dorothy Parker
I give her sadness and the gift of pain, a new moon madness and a love of rain.
Dorothy Parker