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Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Suppose
Rose
Luck
Perfect
Always
Limousine
Limousines
Sent

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[On being told their loquacious, domineering host was 'outspoken':] By whom?
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She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.
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There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
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I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.
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Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
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There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.
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The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
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Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them, more easily each time, so easily, soon, that you did not even realize you had gone out searching. Women alone often developed into experts at the practice. She must never join their dismal league.
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Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.
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Pictures pass me in long review,-- Marching columns of dead events. I was tender, and, often, true Ever a prey to coincidence. Always knew I the consequence Always saw what the end would be. We're as Nature has made us -- hence I loved them until they loved me.
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[At the reception following her remarriage to Alan Campbell:] People who haven't talked to each other in years are on speaking terms again today - including the bride and groom.
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Hell's afloat in lover's tears.
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All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.
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If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
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Money is only congealed snow.
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The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. ... Obscenity is too valuable a commodity to chuck around all over the place it should be taken out of the safe on special occasions only.
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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn't touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
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Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face - Poets alone should kiss and tell.
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Said of her husband on the day their divorce became final: Oh, don't worry about Alan. . . . Alan will always land on somebody's feet.
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His books are exciting and powerful and — if I may filch the word from the booksy ones — pulsing.
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