Quote

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Three
Martini
Two
Host
Like
Alcohol
Table
Tables
Drinking
Drink
Algonquins
Four
Gin

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[From a window in the Writer's Building at MGM, which overlooked a cemetery:] Hello down there. It might interest you to know that up here we are just as dead as you are.
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Said of her husband on the day their divorce became final: Oh, don't worry about Alan. . . . Alan will always land on somebody's feet.
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A liberal is a man who leaves the room before the fight starts.
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[Requesting her epitaph to read this way:] Excuse my dust.
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Oh, both my shoes are shiny new, And pristine is my hat My dress is 1922… My life is all like that.
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It is that word 'hunny,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
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[Hospitalized and pressing the nurse's button before dictating letters to her secretary:] This should assure us of at least forty-five minutes of undisturbed privacy.
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They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
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There must be courage there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind...There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.
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She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.
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This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.
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The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
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Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them, more easily each time, so easily, soon, that you did not even realize you had gone out searching. Women alone often developed into experts at the practice. She must never join their dismal league.
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Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.
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I don't want to review books any more. It cuts in too much on my reading.
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Innocence is a desirable thing, a dainty thing, an appealing thing, in its place but carried too far, it is merely ridiculous.
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She will never win him, whose words had shown she feared to lose.
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Ah, clear they see and true they say That one shall weep, and one shall stray
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Upton Sinclair is his own King Charles' head. He cannot keep himself out of his writings, try though he may or, by this time, try though he doesn't.
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[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
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