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All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Garters
Busted
Thankful
Sitting
World
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
Pictures pass me in long review,-- Marching columns of dead events. I was tender, and, often, true Ever a prey to coincidence. Always knew I the consequence Always saw what the end would be. We're as Nature has made us -- hence I loved them until they loved me.
Dorothy Parker
There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
Dorothy Parker
What writes worse than a Theodore Dreiser? ... Two Theodore Dreisers.
Dorothy Parker
It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.
Dorothy Parker
There was nothing separate about her days. Like drops on the window-pane, they ran together and trickled away.
Dorothy Parker
I don't want to review books any more. It cuts in too much on my reading.
Dorothy Parker
There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
Dorothy Parker
...as for helping me in the outside world, the Convent taught me only that if you spit on a pencil eraser, it will erase ink.
Dorothy Parker
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
I misremember who first was cruel enough to nurture the cocktail party into life. But perhaps it would be not too much to say, in fact it would be not enough to say, that it was not worth the trouble.
Dorothy Parker
Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill. Shame and woe to us, if we our wealth obey The horse doth with the horseman away.
Dorothy Parker
I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.
Dorothy Parker
Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
Dorothy Parker
Ah, clear they see and true they say That one shall weep, and one shall stray
Dorothy Parker
Accursed from their birth they be Who seek to find monogamy, Pursuing it from bed to bed— I think they would be better dead.
Dorothy Parker
At birth the Devil touched my tongue.
Dorothy Parker
I wish, I wish I were a poisonous bacterium.
Dorothy Parker
The nowadays ruling that no word is unprintable has, I think, done nothing whatever for beautiful letters. The boys have gone hog-wild with liberty, yet the short flat terms used over and over, both in dialogue and narrative, add neither vigor nor clarity the effect is not of shock but of something far more dangerous — tedium.
Dorothy Parker
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
Dorothy Parker
They say of me, and so they should, It's doubtful if I come to good. I see acquaintances and friends Accumulating dividends And making enviable names In science, art and parlor games. But I, despite expert advice, Keep doing things I think are nice, And though to good I never come Inseparable my nose and thumb.
Dorothy Parker