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All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.

Dorothy Parker

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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Busted
Thankful
Sitting
World
Garters

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Oh, seek, my love, your newer way I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
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I fell into writing, I suppose, being one of those awful children who wrote verses. I went to a convent in New York-the Blessed Sacrament... I was fired from there, finally, for a lot of things, among them my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.
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They say of me, and so they should, It's doubtful if I come to good. I see acquaintances and friends Accumulating dividends And making enviable names In science, art and parlor games. But I, despite expert advice, Keep doing things I think are nice, And though to good I never come Inseparable my nose and thumb.
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Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.
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She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don't say she will, but she can.
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But I don't give up I forget why not.
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Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
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Scratch a king and find a fool!
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If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
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Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.
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All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don't catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
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Some men break your heart in two, Some men fawn and flatter, Some men never look at you And that cleans up the matter.
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Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
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Of Orson Welles: It's like meeting God without dying.
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Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.
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And where does she find them?
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They sicken of the calm who know the storm.
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All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
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Art is a form of catharsis emotional release, purging, cleansing, purifying.
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