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All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.
Dorothy Parker
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Dorothy Parker
Age: 73 †
Born: 1893
Born: August 22
Died: 1967
Died: June 7
Columnist
Journalist
Literary Critic
Poet
Screenwriter
Songwriter
Writer
West End
Monmouth County
New Jersey
Dorothy Rothschild
Dot Rothschild
Dottie Rothschild
Thankful
Sitting
World
Garters
Busted
More quotes by Dorothy Parker
Of Orson Welles: It's like meeting God without dying.
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It's easier to write about those you hate — just as it's easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.
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His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
Dorothy Parker
[At the reception following her remarriage to Alan Campbell:] People who haven't talked to each other in years are on speaking terms again today - including the bride and groom.
Dorothy Parker
Yes, well, let me tell you that if nobody had ever learned to quote, very few people would be in love with La Rochefoucauld. I bet you I don't know ten souls who read him without a middleman.
Dorothy Parker
[On an actor who'd broken her leg in London:] Oh, how terrible. She must have done it sliding down a barrister.
Dorothy Parker
Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
Dorothy Parker
There are times when images blow to fluff, and comparisons stiffen and shrivel.
Dorothy Parker
[On Kay Strozzi in The Silent Witness:] Miss Strozzi ... had the temerity to wear as truly horrible a gown as ever I have seen on the American stage. ... Had she not luckily been strangled by a member of the cast while disporting this garment, I should have fought my way to the stage and done her in, myself.
Dorothy Parker
There was a reason for the cost of those perfectly plain black dresses.
Dorothy Parker
Woman wants monogamy Man delights in novelty. Love is woman's moon and sun Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord Count to ten, and man is bored. With this the gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it?
Dorothy Parker
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
Dorothy Parker
Money is only congealed snow.
Dorothy Parker
If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
Dorothy Parker
[On William Lyon Phelps's Happiness:] It is second only to a rubber duck as the ideal bathtub companion. It may be held in the hand without causing muscular fatigue ... and it may be read through before the water has cooled. And if it slips down the drain pipe, all right, it slips down the drain pipe.
Dorothy Parker
Despite his persecutions, Mr. [Upton] Sinclair reveals himself in Money Writes! to be an enviable man. Always the thing he desires to believe is the thing he feels he knows to be true.
Dorothy Parker
Just begin a story with such a phrase as 'I remember Disraeli - poor old Dizz! - once saying to me, in answer to my poke in the eye,' and you will find me and Morpheus off in a corner, necking.
Dorothy Parker
[Completely bored by a country weekend, wiring to a friend:] For heaven's sake, rush me a loaf of bread, enclosing saw and file.
Dorothy Parker
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don't catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
Dorothy Parker
If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
Dorothy Parker