I took some lessons as a kid but trained myself by ear. I did it the way jazz musicians used to learn years ago, which is to play records and slow them down to figure out the notes. At first I tried to imitate Red Garland, who was my favorite jazz pianist.

I had a dream that Britney Spears rubbed her breasts in my face and Jennifer Lopez gave me head while Salma Hayek sucked my toes and the Olsen twins videotaped everything. I would have kept dreaming it, too, if I hadn't set off the smoke detector.

Now why the hell would I want to increase the volume of my ejaculation ? They can already hear me in the apartment next door.

Randy Newman seemed like an even worse singer than me. I liked Ray Charles, Levi Stubbs, Jack Jones, Joe Tex, Wilson Pickett.

I've never been comfortable as a lead performer, and I never wanted to be a singer, particularly.

I think of Steely Dan as being of its time, and it may be inseparable from its time.

Popularity has everything to do with business and nothing to do with music.

Anthemic rock music is inherently fascist - anything intended to move huge masses of people is politically offensive to me.

What a beautiful world this will be What a glorious time to be free

When you get a groove going, time flies.

People are usually afraid to say what's on their mind.

I like it when songs develop in some way. Four minutes usually isn't enough time for something to develop musically.

I'm starting to get older, and began to think about mortality a little more. My mother died in 2003 and that was a big shock. When your parents start to die off, that's going to be a revelation. So for me, this album - although it might sound quite cheery - is really talking about death.