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I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?

Diogenes

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Diogenes
Philosopher
Sinope
Diogenes the Cynic
Diogenes
Pissed
Surprised
Dog
Called
Men

More quotes by Diogenes

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When some one reminded him that the people of Sinope had sentenced him to exile, he said, And I sentenced them to stay at home.
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I am looking for an honest man.
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Fools! You think of god as a sentient being. God is the word used to represent a force. This force created nothing, it just helps things along. It does not answer prayers, although it may make you think of a way to solve a problem. It has the power to influence you, but not decide for you.
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Aristotle dines when it seems good to King Philip, but Diogenes when he himself pleases.
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Aren't you ashamed, you who walk backward along the whole path of existence, and blame me for walking backward along the path of the promenade?
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We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.
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It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours.
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Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad.
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He once begged alms of a statue, and, when asked why he did so, replied, To get practice in being refused.
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I am Diogenes the Dog. I nuzzle the kind, bark at the greedy and bite scoundrels.
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Lust is a strong tower of mischief, and hath in it many defenders, as neediness, anger, paleness, discord, love, and longing.
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Those who have virtue always in their mouths, and neglect it in practice, are like a harp, which emits a sound pleasing to others, while itself is insensible of the music.
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To Xeniades, who had purchased Diogenes at the slave market, he said, Come, see that you obey orders.
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The health and vigor necessary for the practice of what is good, depend equally on both mind and body.
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Education gives sobriety to the young, comfort to the old, riches to the poor and is an ornament to the rich.
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Perdiccas threatened to put him to death unless he came to him, That's nothing wonderful, Diogenes said, for a beetle or a tarantula would do the same.
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When two friends part they should lock up each other's secrets and exchange keys. The truly noble mind has no resentments.
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One day, observing a child drinking out of his hands, he cast away the cup from his wallet with the words, A child has beaten me in plainness of living.
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Dogs and philosophers do the greatest good and get the fewest rewards.
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Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them.
Diogenes