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Jon Stewart kills me. I love him. And Bill Maher. He does an hour on HBO. But entirely political. It is awfully rough, but he does make me laugh.
Dick Van Dyke
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Dick Van Dyke
Age: 99
Born: 1925
Born: December 13
Actor
Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
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Richard Wayne Van Dyke
Doe
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More quotes by Dick Van Dyke
Only funny line I've had was my first day on the set of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. They were making me up, and I saw the director call the makeup man over, and he says What are we going to do about the hooter? And the makeup guy said, I'm not a plastic surgeon. So I started that show with a big nose, and quite conscious of it.
Dick Van Dyke
[My mother] once cooked a ham and later found it in my father's shirt drawer. I am not kidding.
Dick Van Dyke
When I started having kids, I thought, 'I don't want to do anything they can't watch.'
Dick Van Dyke
10 years ago, I would've host Saturday Night Live. But to me, the show has declined. For some reason, humor isn't what it was. It just, to me, it's not as funny as it was, not as sharply satirical.
Dick Van Dyke
I've retired so many times now it's getting to be a habit.
Dick Van Dyke
Everything's getting homogenized. It seems to me like music and behavior and everything else is getting homogenized.
Dick Van Dyke
Today, with the subject matter that's around politically, and internationally and everything, I think Carl Reiner would have a ball. I think the format should stay the same. I'd sure love to see him dealing with it today.
Dick Van Dyke
I was a 'Laurel and Hardy' nut. I got to know Laurel at the end of his life, and it was a great thrill for me. He left me his bow tie and derby and told me that if they ever made a movie about him, he'd want me to play him.
Dick Van Dyke
Stan said he used to keep Hardy late, make him miss his golf game, and really get him mad.
Dick Van Dyke
I wanted to be a radio announcer.
Dick Van Dyke
I've got plenty of arthritis. But if you keep moving, it won't bother you that much. That's why old guys stiffen up. They forget they have to get out of their chairs and do something. You let the moss grow over, it's your own fault.
Dick Van Dyke
I watch 'Al Jazeera.' They have news that you can't find anywhere else. They do great documentaries, too.
Dick Van Dyke
People think I'm talking like I'm in perfect health, but I have all the infirmities for my age. I have arthritis and all those things. But if you keep moving, that won't bother you.
Dick Van Dyke
My favorite unknown movie is 'The Comic.'
Dick Van Dyke
I was lucky to get the kinds of parts I wanted. I always said I didn't want to do anything my kids can't see.
Dick Van Dyke
I'm really in retirement. My career is over. I'm just playing now and having a great time. I like to keep busy, and I'm doing what's fun for me.
Dick Van Dyke
You need someone to love, and something to do that you enjoy, and something to hope for, and that's enough for me.
Dick Van Dyke
I did a guest shot on a comedy series where they did 20 to 30 takes of everything. It's just gone by then. The joke is over. It's not funny anymore, and then of course, the editor's the one that has to figure out the timing. I think a lot depends on that.
Dick Van Dyke
I got into a Broadway show before I ever sang and danced. I learned how after I got in the show.
Dick Van Dyke
When I was a kid, I loved all the silent comedians - Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin. And I used to imitate them. I'd go to see a Buster Keaton movie and come home and try things out I'd seen. I learned to do pratfalls when I was very young.
Dick Van Dyke
