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Jon Stewart kills me. I love him. And Bill Maher. He does an hour on HBO. But entirely political. It is awfully rough, but he does make me laugh.

Dick Van Dyke

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Dick Van Dyke
Age: 98
Born: 1925
Born: December 13
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
West Plains
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Richard Wayne Van Dyke
Laugh
Stewart
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Awfully
Hours
Kills
Political
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Make
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More quotes by Dick Van Dyke

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I found out retirement means playing golf, or I don't know what the hell it means. But to me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.
Dick Van Dyke
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Stan said he used to keep Hardy late, make him miss his golf game, and really get him mad.
Dick Van Dyke
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You know, I'm almost out of the habit of watching episodic television now.
Dick Van Dyke
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10 years ago, I would've host Saturday Night Live. But to me, the show has declined. For some reason, humor isn't what it was. It just, to me, it's not as funny as it was, not as sharply satirical.
Dick Van Dyke
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When I was a kid, I had ambitions for being a television announcer, which was before television took off, you know, in the late 40s. And just through necessity, going out looking for work, I was starting to sing, and dance, and act, and I never expected to do that, nor to have any success at it at least.
Dick Van Dyke
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When I was a kid, I loved all the silent comedians - Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin. And I used to imitate them. I'd go to see a Buster Keaton movie and come home and try things out I'd seen. I learned to do pratfalls when I was very young.
Dick Van Dyke
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Hope is life's essential nutrient, and love is what gives life meaning
Dick Van Dyke
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There aren't many pratfalls in comedy anymore.
Dick Van Dyke
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I watch 'Al Jazeera.' They have news that you can't find anywhere else. They do great documentaries, too.
Dick Van Dyke
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'Mary Poppins' was one of the best experiences of my life.
Dick Van Dyke
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I think it's being thrown at the wolves, we call it in our business.
Dick Van Dyke
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I hear music and my feet just start moving.
Dick Van Dyke
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Only funny line I've had was my first day on the set of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. They were making me up, and I saw the director call the makeup man over, and he says What are we going to do about the hooter? And the makeup guy said, I'm not a plastic surgeon. So I started that show with a big nose, and quite conscious of it.
Dick Van Dyke
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I'm really in retirement. My career is over. I'm just playing now and having a great time. I like to keep busy, and I'm doing what's fun for me.
Dick Van Dyke
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I did a 'Golden Girls' once, which shot in front of an audience, and that went well. I had a good time. But I need an audience, for comedy at least.
Dick Van Dyke
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Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.
Dick Van Dyke
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When I auditioned for 'Bye Bye Birdie' on Broadway, Gower Champion said, 'You've got the job!' I said, 'Mr. Champion, I can't dance.' He said, 'We'll teach you what you need to know.'
Dick Van Dyke
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I taught Sunday school when I was younger, and ended up an elder in the church, and it just seemed to me that a lot of people who went to church certainly weren't - the rest of the week - living what I would call an Christian life.
Dick Van Dyke
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But I wish they would make a musical of some kind. I miss musicals so much. You don't see them anymore.
Dick Van Dyke
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I've made peace with insecurity... because there is no security of any kind.
Dick Van Dyke