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[My mother] once cooked a ham and later found it in my father's shirt drawer. I am not kidding.

Dick Van Dyke

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Dick Van Dyke
Age: 98
Born: 1925
Born: December 13
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
West Plains
Missouri
Richard Wayne Van Dyke
Later
Father
Ham
Found
Drawer
Mother
Cooked
Drawers
Kidding
Shirt
Shirts

More quotes by Dick Van Dyke

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I found out retirement means playing golf, or I don't know what the hell it means. But to me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.
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Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody.
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I sing all day. And it's good for you. Good for your vocal cords.
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When I was a kid, I loved all the silent comedians - Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Chaplin. And I used to imitate them. I'd go to see a Buster Keaton movie and come home and try things out I'd seen. I learned to do pratfalls when I was very young.
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I got into a Broadway show before I ever sang and danced. I learned how after I got in the show.
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I would love to be Moses.
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When I get some budding young comic who'll come up to me and say, 'What was it like to do it in those days?' I try to be as gracious to him as Stan Laurel was to me.
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Somebody asked what I wanted on my gravestone. I'm just going to put: 'Glad I Could Help.'
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In my seventies, I exercised to stay ambulatory. In my eighties, I exercise to avoid assisted living.
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Emotionally I'm about 13.
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I have two kids who were like me, we get out of bed feeling good, and the other two would sit at the breakfast table and grumble. I think it's born into us. I usually wake up feeling pretty good. Looking forward to the day.
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Moses probably danced a little, right? You don't part the Red Sea without having some moves.
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Otherwise, everything got better and better, just one surprise after another. And that's why I wrote the book about a matter of being in the right place at the right time, and just luck.
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I never wanted to be an actor and to this day I don`t. I can`t get a handle on it. An actor wants to become someone else. I am a song-and-dance man and I enjoy being myself, which is all I can do.
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'Mary Poppins' was one of the best experiences of my life.
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I've always been a bit of an orphan, because actors say, 'Well, he's more of a dancer.' And dancers say, 'No. He's really a singer.' And singers say, 'No. He's an actor.'
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We spent a lot of time together and had a great time with Mary Tyler Moore. And just working with her was like improv.
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My favorite unknown movie is 'The Comic.'
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When I auditioned for 'Bye Bye Birdie' on Broadway, Gower Champion said, 'You've got the job!' I said, 'Mr. Champion, I can't dance.' He said, 'We'll teach you what you need to know.'
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Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
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