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I found out retirement means playing golf, or I don't know what the hell it means. But to me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.
Dick Van Dyke
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Dick Van Dyke
Age: 98
Born: 1925
Born: December 13
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
West Plains
Missouri
Richard Wayne Van Dyke
Fun
Hell
Means
Found
Mean
Retired
Retirement
Golf
Playing
More quotes by Dick Van Dyke
I could probably play an alcoholic. I've had some experience with that.
Dick Van Dyke
Somebody asked what I wanted on my gravestone. I'm just going to put: 'Glad I Could Help.'
Dick Van Dyke
So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station. And I was working after school and weekends. I did the news I did everything. I did - played records.
Dick Van Dyke
My work is just a hobby. No, I wouldn't want to do it professionally. It's too hard. Deadlines are no fun. But I can sit and tweak all night and not worry about time.
Dick Van Dyke
Anyone who doesn't sing and dance at every opportunity is missing out on the joy of life.
Dick Van Dyke
Only funny line I've had was my first day on the set of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. They were making me up, and I saw the director call the makeup man over, and he says What are we going to do about the hooter? And the makeup guy said, I'm not a plastic surgeon. So I started that show with a big nose, and quite conscious of it.
Dick Van Dyke
Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
Dick Van Dyke
Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.
Dick Van Dyke
You need someone to love, and something to do that you enjoy, and something to hope for, and that's enough for me.
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Hope is life's essential nutrient, and love is what gives life meaning
Dick Van Dyke
I turned down some movies that were quite good. mainly on the basis of taste.
Dick Van Dyke
I just think everyone needs their own private space.
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I have also heard and read various accounts of why they [Sheldon Leonard and Carl Reiner] liked me. My favorites? I wasn't too good-looking, I walked a little funny, and I was basically kind of average and ordinary. I guess my lack of perfection turned out to be a winning hand. Let that be a lesson for future generations.
Dick Van Dyke
When I started having kids, I thought, 'I don't want to do anything they can't watch.'
Dick Van Dyke
You can spread jelly on the peanut butter but you can't spread peanut butter on the jelly.
Dick Van Dyke
Jon Stewart kills me. I love him. And Bill Maher. He does an hour on HBO. But entirely political. It is awfully rough, but he does make me laugh.
Dick Van Dyke
Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody.
Dick Van Dyke
I think the biggest mistake - I was always a big fan of Cary Grant, and he asked me to do a movie with him, playing the second lead, and I didn't do it. And to this day, I can't remember why. But I could've said I worked with Cary Grant, but I turned him down. That was probably the biggest mistake I ever made.
Dick Van Dyke
I was the worst game show host that ever lived, and I knew it.
Dick Van Dyke
I think the saddest moment in my life just happened two months ago. My old nightclub partner passed away, Phil Erickson down in Atlanta. He - I owe him everything. He put me in the business and taught me about everything I know.
Dick Van Dyke