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Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.
Dick Van Dyke
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Dick Van Dyke
Age: 99
Born: 1925
Born: December 13
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Musician
Screenwriter
Singer
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
West Plains
Missouri
Richard Wayne Van Dyke
Women
Never
Men
Wives
Advise
Discipline
Wife
Successful
Success
More quotes by Dick Van Dyke
I could probably play an alcoholic. I've had some experience with that.
Dick Van Dyke
Everything's getting homogenized. It seems to me like music and behavior and everything else is getting homogenized.
Dick Van Dyke
I was the class clown, you know, that kind of thing, and I gathered around me a group of guys who also were silly. I was in all the plays and everything. But I don't know, at that time show businesses looked like the moon, you know, it was so far away. I wanted to be a radio announcer.
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I hear music and my feet just start moving.
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I think the saddest moment in my life just happened two months ago. My old nightclub partner passed away, Phil Erickson down in Atlanta. He - I owe him everything. He put me in the business and taught me about everything I know.
Dick Van Dyke
[My mother] once cooked a ham and later found it in my father's shirt drawer. I am not kidding.
Dick Van Dyke
I turned down some movies that were quite good. mainly on the basis of taste.
Dick Van Dyke
Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.
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As wonderful as they were, my parents didn't teach me anything about self-discipline, concentration, patience, or focus. If I hadn't had a family myself, I probably never would've done anything. Marriage taught me responsibility.
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Today, with the subject matter that's around politically, and internationally and everything, I think Carl Reiner would have a ball. I think the format should stay the same. I'd sure love to see him dealing with it today.
Dick Van Dyke
Jon Stewart kills me. I love him. And Bill Maher. He does an hour on HBO. But entirely political. It is awfully rough, but he does make me laugh.
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Moses probably danced a little, right? You don't part the Red Sea without having some moves.
Dick Van Dyke
You can spread jelly on the peanut butter but you can't spread peanut butter on the jelly.
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I think the biggest mistake - I was always a big fan of Cary Grant, and he asked me to do a movie with him, playing the second lead, and I didn't do it. And to this day, I can't remember why. But I could've said I worked with Cary Grant, but I turned him down. That was probably the biggest mistake I ever made.
Dick Van Dyke
I'm the anti-Quentin Tarantino.
Dick Van Dyke
Otherwise, everything got better and better, just one surprise after another. And that's why I wrote the book about a matter of being in the right place at the right time, and just luck.
Dick Van Dyke
I did a 'Golden Girls' once, which shot in front of an audience, and that went well. I had a good time. But I need an audience, for comedy at least.
Dick Van Dyke
I have two kids who were like me, we get out of bed feeling good, and the other two would sit at the breakfast table and grumble. I think it's born into us. I usually wake up feeling pretty good. Looking forward to the day.
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People think I'm talking like I'm in perfect health, but I have all the infirmities for my age. I have arthritis and all those things. But if you keep moving, that won't bother you.
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I'm always announcing my retirement. I'm still not retired.
Dick Van Dyke
