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I would have painted the White House black. I would have!

Dick Gregory

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Dick Gregory
Age: 84 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 12
Died: 2017
Died: August 19
Athletics Competitor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Entrepreneur
Politician
Social Activist
Social Critic
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Richard Claxton Gregory
White
Black
House
Would
Painted

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In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it's a sport.
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The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.
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I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor.
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If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance, because you don't have the spirit to judge someone from within, you're in trouble.
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Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.
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That's easy, to stand in a nightclub, where most of the people that come in, they came to see you.
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I chose to be an agitator. And there's one interesting thing about being an agitator - and I tell people - the next time you put your underwear in the washing machine, take the agitator out, and all you're going to end up with is some dirty, wet drawers.
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You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
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Eating liver out of a cow's body is like eating the filter out of a car.
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Martin Luther King taught us all nonviolence. I was told to extend nonviolence to the mother and her calf.
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I won't say I'm out of condition now - but I even puff going downstairs.
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Life isn't a race. It's a relay.
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You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say, 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I'd do it for free'?
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In the South they don't mind how close I get, so long as I don't get too big. In the North they don't mind how big I get, so long as I don't get too close.
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Truth is the baby of the world. It never gets old.
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Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
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America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don't misuse a household pet.
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People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.
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I go to Chinese Christian community. Jesus looks Chinese. I go to Japanese Christian community. Jesus looks Japanese. I go to Brazilian Christian community. Jesus looks Brazilian. How come in America Jesus looks white?
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Revolution ain't nothing but an extent of evolution Evolution is a fact of nature. So when old folks tell me that they don't understand hip hop and the music is too loud, well I guess it means you're not supposed to be in there.
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