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The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.
Dick Gregory
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Dick Gregory
Age: 84 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 12
Died: 2017
Died: August 19
Athletics Competitor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Entrepreneur
Politician
Social Activist
Social Critic
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Richard Claxton Gregory
Jokes
Aren
Friends
Stuff
Life
Funniest
Relatives
Comics
More quotes by Dick Gregory
When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
Dick Gregory
I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor.
Dick Gregory
Eating liver out of a cow's body is like eating the filter out of a car.
Dick Gregory
If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance, because you don't have the spirit to judge someone from within, you're in trouble.
Dick Gregory
Some kind of way, we have to say enough is enough.
Dick Gregory
Life isn't a race. It's a relay.
Dick Gregory
When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening - there wasn't no 24-hour news.
Dick Gregory
If you take 12 waters from the coconut - not the ones you buy in the store, although that's good - but the fresh coconuts, the little brown ones with the three eyes, if you take 12 of those within 24 hours, your blood will go back to the way it was when you were born.
Dick Gregory
We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn't it either. I'm going to be an American Citizen. First class.
Dick Gregory
A friend of mine who works for naval intelligence said an aerial satellite revealed that 1.9 million attended the event in 1995. But if they would have had a rumble at the march the newspapers would have said that 75 million Afro-Americans were there.
Dick Gregory
When you look at Hitler and those thugs, you can put Walmart right next to them.
Dick Gregory
Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
Dick Gregory
If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.
Dick Gregory
Black conservatives have a right to exist, but why would I want to walk around with a swastika on my shirt after the way Hitler done messed it up?
Dick Gregory
What happens to Black Folks today, happens to White Folks tomorrow.
Dick Gregory
In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don't know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
Dick Gregory
Martin Luther King taught us all nonviolence. I was told to extend nonviolence to the mother and her calf.
Dick Gregory
Truth is the baby of the world. It never gets old.
Dick Gregory
Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
Dick Gregory
Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.
Dick Gregory
