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The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.

Dick Gregory

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Dick Gregory
Age: 84 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 12
Died: 2017
Died: August 19
Athletics Competitor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Entrepreneur
Politician
Social Activist
Social Critic
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Richard Claxton Gregory
Jokes
Aren
Friends
Stuff
Life
Funniest
Relatives
Comics

More quotes by Dick Gregory

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I go to Chinese Christian community. Jesus looks Chinese. I go to Japanese Christian community. Jesus looks Japanese. I go to Brazilian Christian community. Jesus looks Brazilian. How come in America Jesus looks white?
Dick Gregory
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Poor is a state of mind you never grow out of, but being broke is just a temporary condition.
Dick Gregory
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Don't have a high school diploma? You're in my Cabinet. Why? For 200 years, a lot of Cabinets have existed in our government. Powerful men. Well-educated. So let's try something totally new.
Dick Gregory
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The United States is the most dishonest, ungodly, unspiritual nation that ever existed in the history of the planet.
Dick Gregory
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Every holiday on the calendar, I check in a hotel and fast - I don't eat, I don't drink, I don't talk.
Dick Gregory
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Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
Dick Gregory
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If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance, because you don't have the spirit to judge someone from within, you're in trouble.
Dick Gregory
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Martin Luther King taught us all nonviolence. I was told to extend nonviolence to the mother and her calf.
Dick Gregory
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America has the mightiest military on the planet, and they didn't get there with entertainers.
Dick Gregory
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Because I'm a civil rights activist, I am also an animal rights activist. Animals and humans suffer and die alike. Violence causes the same pain, the same spilling of blood, the same stench of death, the same arrogant, cruel and vicious taking of life. We shouldn't be a part of it.
Dick Gregory
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When I went south in the 1960s, I knew I could die. If I went down there and did what I did up in Chicago and made all of those hatin' white folks laugh, then I would have been defeated.
Dick Gregory
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If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.
Dick Gregory
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That's easy, to stand in a nightclub, where most of the people that come in, they came to see you.
Dick Gregory
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...Humans were the only creatures in the world that ate their food cooked. You'd never find a Gorilla frying up some bananas for dinner or a lion charcoal-broiling a zebra steak. Cats don't often run to the oven with a mouse or bird they've captured, and a dog wouldn't naturally prepare its rabbit dinner in a stew.
Dick Gregory
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Why are black folks singing Amazing Grace which is a song about a white slaver's conversion?
Dick Gregory
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Black Americans are the only people in history who are for education instead of liberation. George Washington wasn't beating up on British for the right to open a college! The line isn't Give me education or give me death.
Dick Gregory
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In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it's a sport.
Dick Gregory
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I feel that the same God-force that is the mother and father of the Pope is also the mother and father of the loneliest wino on the planet.
Dick Gregory
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I wouldn't mind paying taxes... if I knew they were going to a friendly country
Dick Gregory
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I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor.
Dick Gregory