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When you look at Hitler and those thugs, you can put Walmart right next to them.

Dick Gregory

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Dick Gregory
Age: 84 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 12
Died: 2017
Died: August 19
Athletics Competitor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Entrepreneur
Politician
Social Activist
Social Critic
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Richard Claxton Gregory
Next
Look
Looks
Right
Thugs
Thug
Hitler

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The NAACP is a wonderful organization . . . But do you realize if tomorrow morning we had complete integration, all them cats would be outta work?
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If you take 12 waters from the coconut - not the ones you buy in the store, although that's good - but the fresh coconuts, the little brown ones with the three eyes, if you take 12 of those within 24 hours, your blood will go back to the way it was when you were born.
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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
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Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you would never collect the money. At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.
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Love is man's natural endowment, but he doesn't know how to use it. He refuses to recognize the power of love because of his love of power.
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You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say, 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I'd do it for free'?
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Martin Luther King taught us all nonviolence. I was told to extend nonviolence to the mother and her calf.
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Revolution ain't nothing but an extent of evolution Evolution is a fact of nature. So when old folks tell me that they don't understand hip hop and the music is too loud, well I guess it means you're not supposed to be in there.
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Pets are found to suffer from all the ailments known to the human.
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When I went south in the 1960s, I knew I could die. If I went down there and did what I did up in Chicago and made all of those hatin' white folks laugh, then I would have been defeated.
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Why are black folks singing Amazing Grace which is a song about a white slaver's conversion?
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I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor.
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In the South they don't mind how close I get, so long as I don't get too big. In the North they don't mind how big I get, so long as I don't get too close.
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I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
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Poor is a state of mind you never grow out of, but being broke is just a temporary condition.
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I would have painted the White House black. I would have!
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Eating liver out of a cow's body is like eating the filter out of a car.
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You got to die of something because if you die of nothing, they won't pay your insurance.
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Don't have a high school diploma? You're in my Cabinet. Why? For 200 years, a lot of Cabinets have existed in our government. Powerful men. Well-educated. So let's try something totally new.
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I chose to be an agitator. And there's one interesting thing about being an agitator - and I tell people - the next time you put your underwear in the washing machine, take the agitator out, and all you're going to end up with is some dirty, wet drawers.
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