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In the South they don't mind how close I get, so long as I don't get too big. In the North they don't mind how big I get, so long as I don't get too close.

Dick Gregory

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Dick Gregory
Age: 84 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 12
Died: 2017
Died: August 19
Athletics Competitor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Entrepreneur
Politician
Social Activist
Social Critic
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Richard Claxton Gregory
North
South
Close
Bigs
Long
Mind

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I would have painted the White House black. I would have!
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The only good thing about the good old days is they're gone.
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Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
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Eating liver out of a cow's body is like eating the filter out of a car.
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I won't say I'm out of condition now - but I even puff going downstairs.
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If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.
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Black conservatives have a right to exist, but why would I want to walk around with a swastika on my shirt after the way Hitler done messed it up?
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The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.
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Truth is the baby of the world. It never gets old.
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I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor.
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Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
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Why are black folks singing Amazing Grace which is a song about a white slaver's conversion?
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Let me tell you, never before in the history of this planet has anybody made the progress that African-Americans have made in a 30-year period, in spite of many black folks and white folks lying to one another.
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There's a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
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Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
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What price would God demand from the churches for having the audacity to lighten the color of his son's skin, and straighten out his nappy hair?
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Martin Luther King taught us all nonviolence. I was told to extend nonviolence to the mother and her calf.
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Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you would never collect the money. At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.
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