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You got to die of something because if you die of nothing, they won't pay your insurance.

Dick Gregory

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Dick Gregory
Age: 84 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 12
Died: 2017
Died: August 19
Athletics Competitor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Entrepreneur
Politician
Social Activist
Social Critic
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Richard Claxton Gregory
Pay
Dies
Nothing
Something
Insurance

More quotes by Dick Gregory

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Black folks tell their kids they have to be twice as good as a white person? Well, if I tell a child of mine that, or that they have to be careful - that this is what a cop would do if you do this - they think something is wrong with them. I tell them death is better.
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Eating liver out of a cow's body is like eating the filter out of a car.
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Some kind of way, we have to say enough is enough.
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People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.
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The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.
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Truth is the baby of the world. It never gets old.
Dick Gregory
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In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it's a sport.
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Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
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At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.
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If you take 12 waters from the coconut - not the ones you buy in the store, although that's good - but the fresh coconuts, the little brown ones with the three eyes, if you take 12 of those within 24 hours, your blood will go back to the way it was when you were born.
Dick Gregory
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I chose to be an agitator. And there's one interesting thing about being an agitator - and I tell people - the next time you put your underwear in the washing machine, take the agitator out, and all you're going to end up with is some dirty, wet drawers.
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In the South they don't mind how close I get, so long as I don't get too big. In the North they don't mind how big I get, so long as I don't get too close.
Dick Gregory
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Poor is a state of mind you never grow out of, but being broke is just a temporary condition.
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When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening - there wasn't no 24-hour news.
Dick Gregory
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Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you would never collect the money. At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.
Dick Gregory
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I was born and raised in St. Louis, and this little town, eight blocks away, place no one ever heard of, a black man there commands the attention of the world for months? That ain't my world.
Dick Gregory
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Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
Dick Gregory
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I go to Chinese Christian community. Jesus looks Chinese. I go to Japanese Christian community. Jesus looks Japanese. I go to Brazilian Christian community. Jesus looks Brazilian. How come in America Jesus looks white?
Dick Gregory
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To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
Dick Gregory
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What happens to Black Folks today, happens to White Folks tomorrow.
Dick Gregory