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Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.

Dick Gregory

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Dick Gregory
Age: 84 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 12
Died: 2017
Died: August 19
Athletics Competitor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Entrepreneur
Politician
Social Activist
Social Critic
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Richard Claxton Gregory
Baseball
Figures
Bigs
Riot
White
Bats
Without
Shake
Way
Shakes
Men
Humorous
People
Starting

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I chose to be an agitator. And there's one interesting thing about being an agitator - and I tell people - the next time you put your underwear in the washing machine, take the agitator out, and all you're going to end up with is some dirty, wet drawers.
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I won't say I'm out of condition now - but I even puff going downstairs.
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Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
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Revolution ain't nothing but an extent of evolution Evolution is a fact of nature. So when old folks tell me that they don't understand hip hop and the music is too loud, well I guess it means you're not supposed to be in there.
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When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening - there wasn't no 24-hour news.
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Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.
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In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don't know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
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America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don't misuse a household pet.
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When you look at Hitler and those thugs, you can put Walmart right next to them.
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Pets are found to suffer from all the ailments known to the human.
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A Klaner KKK is a cat who gets out of bed in the middle of the night and takes his sheet with him.
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You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say, 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I'd do it for free'?
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Audiences feel no hatred from me. Because I'm not bitter.
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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
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We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn't it either. I'm going to be an American Citizen. First class.
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We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
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To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
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Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
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Don't have a high school diploma? You're in my Cabinet. Why? For 200 years, a lot of Cabinets have existed in our government. Powerful men. Well-educated. So let's try something totally new.
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Race baiters and discriminators may go underground, but they never move out of town.
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