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You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.

Dick Gregory

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Dick Gregory
Age: 84 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 12
Died: 2017
Died: August 19
Athletics Competitor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Entrepreneur
Politician
Social Activist
Social Critic
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Richard Claxton Gregory
Ones
Means
Madison
Wells
Avenue
Well
Harlem
Done
Avenues
Mean
Brand
Never
Brands
Advertising

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I believe young voters will either vote for Obama or not vote at all. So the problem is not Obama the problem is the system. If you think about how mess up this country is most folk really don’t have choices.
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In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don't know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
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The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.
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Because I'm a civil rights activist, I am also an animal rights activist. Animals and humans suffer and die alike. Violence causes the same pain, the same spilling of blood, the same stench of death, the same arrogant, cruel and vicious taking of life. We shouldn't be a part of it.
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You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say, 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I'd do it for free'?
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Whenever the dollar is held supreme and capitalistic interests dominate, a higher value will always be placed upon property rights than upon human rights.
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Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.
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I would have painted the White House black. I would have!
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What price would God demand from the churches for having the audacity to lighten the color of his son's skin, and straighten out his nappy hair?
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I won't say I'm out of condition now - but I even puff going downstairs.
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There's a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
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Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
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Black conservatives have a right to exist, but why would I want to walk around with a swastika on my shirt after the way Hitler done messed it up?
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Luck is opportunity meeting up with preparation. So you must prepare yourself to be lucky.
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Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you would never collect the money. At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.
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In the South they don't mind how close I get, so long as I don't get too big. In the North they don't mind how big I get, so long as I don't get too close.
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Because you make me laugh don't make you a comic. A comedian is a person who, that's how they make their living.
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Black Americans are the only people in history who are for education instead of liberation. George Washington wasn't beating up on British for the right to open a college! The line isn't Give me education or give me death.
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People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.
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Laughter is the best way to release tensions and fears.
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