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If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.

Dick Gregory

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Dick Gregory
Age: 84 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 12
Died: 2017
Died: August 19
Athletics Competitor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Entrepreneur
Politician
Social Activist
Social Critic
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Richard Claxton Gregory
Open
Stills
Still
Abe
Lincoln
Market
Wasn

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The only good thing about the good old days is they're gone.
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That's easy, to stand in a nightclub, where most of the people that come in, they came to see you.
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People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.
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You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say, 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I'd do it for free'?
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Let me tell you, never before in the history of this planet has anybody made the progress that African-Americans have made in a 30-year period, in spite of many black folks and white folks lying to one another.
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Love is man's natural endowment, but he doesn't know how to use it. He refuses to recognize the power of love because of his love of power.
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You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
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The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.
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Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.
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When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening - there wasn't no 24-hour news.
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Pets are found to suffer from all the ailments known to the human.
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Audiences feel no hatred from me. Because I'm not bitter.
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I wouldn't mind paying taxes... if I knew they were going to a friendly country
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
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If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance, because you don't have the spirit to judge someone from within, you're in trouble.
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Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
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Whenever the dollar is held supreme and capitalistic interests dominate, a higher value will always be placed upon property rights than upon human rights.
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Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
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I was born and raised in St. Louis, and this little town, eight blocks away, place no one ever heard of, a black man there commands the attention of the world for months? That ain't my world.
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Laughter is the best way to release tensions and fears.
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