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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
Dick Gregory
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Dick Gregory
Age: 84 †
Born: 1932
Born: October 12
Died: 2017
Died: August 19
Athletics Competitor
Autobiographer
Comedian
Entrepreneur
Politician
Social Activist
Social Critic
Writer
St. Louis
Missouri
Richard Claxton Gregory
Military
Commanders
Goes
Captain
Responsibility
Captains
Funny
Navy
Lost
Ship
Rifle
Ships
Naval
Dollars
Rifles
Army
Charged
More quotes by Dick Gregory
The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff.
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The only good thing about the good old days is they're gone.
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America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don't misuse a household pet.
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That's easy, to stand in a nightclub, where most of the people that come in, they came to see you.
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I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
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Pets are found to suffer from all the ailments known to the human.
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In the South they don't mind how close I get, so long as I don't get too big. In the North they don't mind how big I get, so long as I don't get too close.
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We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
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I would have painted the White House black. I would have!
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Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
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The United States is the most dishonest, ungodly, unspiritual nation that ever existed in the history of the planet.
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People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.
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Truth is the baby of the world. It never gets old.
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Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.
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In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don't know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
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There's a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
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Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
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Black Americans are the only people in history who are for education instead of liberation. George Washington wasn't beating up on British for the right to open a college! The line isn't Give me education or give me death.
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I feel that the same God-force that is the mother and father of the Pope is also the mother and father of the loneliest wino on the planet.
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When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening - there wasn't no 24-hour news.
Dick Gregory
